Friday, 16 April 2010

SRS: The Closest Thing The World Has Seen To A Super Villain! - Anatoly Dyatlov.




Let's be honest, superheroes are mad homo. Superman, Spiderman, etc… complete batty mans dressed in spandex. The only guy close to being rad is Batman, and he's just a vigilante with a lot of money.

So let's be honest, super villains are a lot fucking cooler. They go about being villainous, fucking people's days up, thinking of master plans and playing with shit they shouldn't be fucking playing with!

Take Doctor Doom for instance! The guy wears fucking nuclear powered titanium armour that allows him to fly, swim underwater, enter space and taze people! What the fuck do you put on in the morning? Jeans and a t-shirt? Pffff, pussy!

Now then, I was recently prowling Wikipedia at about 3am and came across someone very, very interesting. His name was Anatoly Dyatlov. To me, he is the closest thing to a super villain that has ever lived. Why, you ask?

Well…

1. CHERNOBYL!!

He was one of, if not the main, cause of the Chernobyl disaster. Possibly the worst man-made disaster ever to hit the world. It was 100 times more radioactive than the bomb dropped on Hiroshima, caused over 70 cities/towns to be evacuated/devastated, and affected more than 7 million people with illnesses like cancer, leukaemia and deformities. Srs shit.

It was meant to be a test to see what would happen if the power were cut to the generator in a nuclear power plant in the event of war or terrorism. The test was meant to be carried out with strict guidelines given to them by Soviet Officials. But, Anatoly broke them…

He was basically being a dick (the main characteristic of a super villain.) He was the highest ranking person in the control room and therefore disregarded everyone's advice when told not to drop the power to the generator lower than what they were told. He was pretty much looking the other plant operators in the eyes and asking them to compare dicks, and none of them stepped up to his challenge… Even though they'd probably have won! Which brings me onto the second reason he's such a super villain. His dick is radio-fucking-active!

2. RADIATION!

BEFORE the Chernobyl disaster Dyatlov worked in Siberia installing nuclear reactors on Submarines. He caused an accident whilst working that exposed him to a radiation level of 200REMz. This amount of radiation is said to have a 35% chance of fatality. 200REM is 3 lifetimes' worth of radiation. Yet he survived… although his son didn't. His son died not long after from Leukaemia. This supposedly caused him to be a lot more driven and have some sort of personal vendetta with nuclear energy.

During the disaster at Chernobyl he received a FURTHER 390REM. That's a 50% chance of fatality within 30 days. That's 8 times the supposed amount of radiation you can be exposed to in your lifetime. And yet he lived for 9 more years. So besides being Russian (which already means he's a bit of a tough guy anyway) he also survived all that exposure to radiation.

Radiation is something I associate with the comic book world, for some reason. Nuclear radiation is the antithesis of life. It is a horrible, dirty, thing that destroys any living thing it comes in contact with. It will make you throw up and shit yourself at first, and then a few days when you think you're alright, your skin will start to turn black and burn down to the bone. SHIT AIN'T TO BE FUCKED AROUND WITH, YO!

3. HISTORY!

To quickly sum it all up. To me, he has a villainous background. His father was a fisherman. He ran away from home when he was 15, and excelled in engineering and then nuclear engineering. He had an accident with a villainous substance which took away his son and tragedy is often associated with turning villains evil in the first place. And last but not least, he fucked a huge amount of people over of a huge magnitude and in a somewhat extravagant way.

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